Personal Narrative

Reflection

I corrected a lot of grammatical errors throughout the essay. I also edited the sentence “By the end of the night, I was like a social butterfly that I never knew lived in me” by adding this follow-up sentence, “I interacted with people I have never seen before but spoke to them as if we had been friends for years.” Without this new sentence, I didn’t clarify the ways in which I was a “social butterfly.” In the paragraph about the Hank Green videos, I included context of who he is, what his videos are about, and why I would be watching his videos in the first place. I made this change because I mistakenly assumed that the audience would understand this reference. A lot of the changes I made are in the falling action and resolution of this narrative. In my original paper, I quickly jumped between fixing my school habits and changing my major. I failed to tell the story of how I stopped attending parties to put my efforts into studying. Thus, I added more paragraphs at the end of my essay to tell the remainder of this story.